just wanna say here that, the root of my confusion might probably be denial.
unable to accept the fact that i am different and the need to conform to societal and family values, i am forced to live the life of a person who is not myself. each day it gets harder, each day it gets lonelier and yet i am still holding on tightly with what i force myself to believe in.
though accepting the truth may lift major burdens from my shoulders, but after a long thought, i realized that nothing would change. i would still remain the same and be wary of other people's perception and that's no different than worrying about the stuffs i deny.
life isn't fair, but i do hope that there is someone out there with the same sentiments and understands my confusion to share with...for now, i'll rely on myself to keep things going for my sake. come on, face it...it's always nice to come home to someone and say 'hey babe, how was your day?' or before going to bed 'goodnite and love you babe' and fall asleep in each other's embrace.
i miss those kinda moments and frankly i'm beginning to wonder if that moment will ever come again. maybe, i should just stop hoping because just maybe, i'm one of the few who are not destined to be in a relationship...
maybe, being an observer isn't so bad after all...
ciao...
unable to accept the fact that i am different and the need to conform to societal and family values, i am forced to live the life of a person who is not myself. each day it gets harder, each day it gets lonelier and yet i am still holding on tightly with what i force myself to believe in.
though accepting the truth may lift major burdens from my shoulders, but after a long thought, i realized that nothing would change. i would still remain the same and be wary of other people's perception and that's no different than worrying about the stuffs i deny.
life isn't fair, but i do hope that there is someone out there with the same sentiments and understands my confusion to share with...for now, i'll rely on myself to keep things going for my sake. come on, face it...it's always nice to come home to someone and say 'hey babe, how was your day?' or before going to bed 'goodnite and love you babe' and fall asleep in each other's embrace.
i miss those kinda moments and frankly i'm beginning to wonder if that moment will ever come again. maybe, i should just stop hoping because just maybe, i'm one of the few who are not destined to be in a relationship...
maybe, being an observer isn't so bad after all...
ciao...
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