heya blog,
do you have any idea what i'm going through now? what i'm feeling? i'm not really sure how to put it in a coherent sentence, but what i feel now is like..i'm out there but at the same time, feel somewhat imprisoned. get what i mean? :). dont think so...anyway, i'll try to elaborate further as i can okay :).
what i meant by 'i'm out there' is..i'm back to socializing around without having to think much about what the other person is doing, i'm back to pretending the person what everyone wants to see. i know it's not right, i am aware that if i were to live a happy life..i need to acknowledge myself to the world for who i really am..and that's exactly something i can't afford to do...and that's where i feel like being imprisoned..imprisoned by society's religious and morale view of how a person should live their life. sad isn't it...
anyhow...i'm still coping with the 'for good break up'. it's like all the memories of the times spent with that person is no longer in my head..but instead, in my heart. yeah..sounds kinda corny isn't it :). the memories are a bit vague, but the impression has been imprinted in the emotional sense. i still know how happy i was when we were together, the butterflies, the tears, the pain and most of all..the love. strange eh..:).
honestly, i'm beginning to doubt if love even exist. i'm convincing myself that love is just a notion cooked up by selfish people to keep the person they desire close to them. probably love isn't what we feel in our hearts but something we come up with in our head :).
anyhow..it is great having you back as my confidante. had several other blogs which i thought could replace you...but there's something about you which gives me that certain degree of trust and proximity hehe. it's probably because you are my first blog...and that makes you special :).
hey...a bit tired. will update you when i feel like having to pour my hearts out okay. ciao...
do you have any idea what i'm going through now? what i'm feeling? i'm not really sure how to put it in a coherent sentence, but what i feel now is like..i'm out there but at the same time, feel somewhat imprisoned. get what i mean? :). dont think so...anyway, i'll try to elaborate further as i can okay :).
what i meant by 'i'm out there' is..i'm back to socializing around without having to think much about what the other person is doing, i'm back to pretending the person what everyone wants to see. i know it's not right, i am aware that if i were to live a happy life..i need to acknowledge myself to the world for who i really am..and that's exactly something i can't afford to do...and that's where i feel like being imprisoned..imprisoned by society's religious and morale view of how a person should live their life. sad isn't it...
anyhow...i'm still coping with the 'for good break up'. it's like all the memories of the times spent with that person is no longer in my head..but instead, in my heart. yeah..sounds kinda corny isn't it :). the memories are a bit vague, but the impression has been imprinted in the emotional sense. i still know how happy i was when we were together, the butterflies, the tears, the pain and most of all..the love. strange eh..:).
honestly, i'm beginning to doubt if love even exist. i'm convincing myself that love is just a notion cooked up by selfish people to keep the person they desire close to them. probably love isn't what we feel in our hearts but something we come up with in our head :).
anyhow..it is great having you back as my confidante. had several other blogs which i thought could replace you...but there's something about you which gives me that certain degree of trust and proximity hehe. it's probably because you are my first blog...and that makes you special :).
hey...a bit tired. will update you when i feel like having to pour my hearts out okay. ciao...
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